Nervous Nerves

Right before an audition. Butterflies in your stomach while your up to bat. Those tiny little tingles as the teacher passes out your finals.

We've had them forever and they'll never go away. Pesky little annoying nerves.

Today I am going to have an audition for a musical at CYT and yes, I am kind of nervous. This will be my 6th show there, and with each one I have grown as an actress, dancer, singer and Christian. The auditions thankfully are pretty relaxed, not like those really uptight theaters that cut a bunch of people. I doubt anyone will be cut this show, but still. Those nerves...

A hour or two before the audition is when it starts and man... it stops me from doing everything! I cant eat, or my stomach will hurt, I sleep because I'm so hyped up with nerves, I can't sing normal for some reason, and I can barely talk without my voice shaking! It just keeps building and building, and I have to talk to someone (with my voice shaking) to calm down a little.

Its the worst right before your turn. You walk up to the stage, heart pounding and hands sweaty. It's so hard to control your voice so it doesn't shake, but you manage to cut through. The music starts, you take a deep breath... and then it's okay. Throughout the whole song I manage to have no nerves at all, and I guess that's because I know it's my place on that stage. My hobby, my passion, so I do feel at ease. Some people cannot for the life of them run up to the stage and start belting out a song. I can't go to a baseball field and through a perfect throw from first to third without it hitting someone. Everyone has their different talents, but even if you are amazing at them (which I am not) you still have those nerves.

The good thing is the song only lasts for a minute, then you say a quick thank you and dash off the stage. I always find myself muttering a little prayer for the next person as they walk up the stairs, knowing how nerve-racking it is.

Then we have dance auditions which is easy peesy. You go in groups and you dance two times, once in the front and once in the back of the row. Its the same dance both times and most of the time they keep it pretty short. I'm not that good, but I do take lessons so it gives me a little advantage there.

So what does nerves have to do with God?

Actually, I don't know at this point 'cause I just wanted to rant about my nerves to keep them from coming. :) Let's improvise.

When you take your first steps with God, they're a little shaky, right? I guess I wouldn't really call it nervous, but something like you don't have full trust so your kind of watching out just so nothing bad happens.

And when you try to show others that your a Christian, things kind of get nervous there, right? One time there was this guy next to me in testing, and he looked really nervous and stressed out. He kept muttering something, and I believe it was "Jesus" over and over. I really wanted to say something like, "It's okay, you got it" or "You're doing great." But two things we're holding me back. One, nerves for what he would say and think about me. Isn't that weird? Why should I care what he'll say back? And the second reason is because my teacher was pretty strict, and if she saw me talking I would be outta there.

But isn't that weird? I mean, about the first reason. I was nervous about what would happen after? I think I was shrinking back into my comfort zone. The testing was 3 days long and I didn't say anything. Nada. Zip. Zero.

Looking back at it I sincerely regret it. I should of said something, and hey, who knows what could of happened? At least I tried. And I'm guessing it would get easier from there, like it did with the audition.

So don't be afraid to step out to others and be a role model, or help them, or console them. Even if you have those nerves that are telling you, "Just be safe and don't say anything." If you have a strict teacher, tell that kid out of the room (what I should of done). Take a breath and just let the words come out and you can make a major impression! Isn't it worth the nerves to make others feel better?

Well, that's  my little improvised speech thingy. How was it? :)

The challenge of this post is: Go out of your comfort zone just a little bit to help others.

You did it? You completed the last challenge? I would love to hear from you! Comment here, comment in the contact box, or shoot me an email at randommusings13@gmail.com. Seriously, I would love to know what you accomplished.

Thank you for viewing, and hope to hear from you!

All through Christ,
-Maddie

*NOTE:* I actually wrote this yesterday, so my auditions are over. They went very well and I actually wasn't as nervous as I anticipated! You'll hear from me soon on the callbacks and casting... :)