Awaiting

A lot of times I feel like life is just one big waiting game.

Waiting to be able to be in the car without a car seat.
Waiting to be old enough to get my ears pierced.
Waiting for 8th grade to be confirmed.
Waiting to drive so I don't have to get the "oh you're a freshmen" pity look. :)
Waiting to grow up.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

But in sometimes we get so wrapped up in the waiting and anticipation that we don't fully understand what we are waiting for.

When I was younger I was so set on dreaming and waiting to be older so I could shop alone with my friends and start to drive and babysit and all those "older kid" things, that I forgot to take in and appreciate what I had. If I could tell younger me one thing, it would be "enjoy this while it lasts. It gets better, but it also gets a heck of a lot harder."

Advent is a season of waiting- yes. But it is not a season of dormant waiting or lazy waiting. We must be alive, ready, active! Jesus is coming, are we prepared?

I myself have been a victim of being so wrapped up in getting Christmas presents and decorating my room and going ice skating that I totally get on the wrong track. Yeah, I know it's about Jesus, but do I also know that it's just as much about me and Jesus? After all, Jesus came into the world for one purpose- to die for me. Advent is a time to grow closer to Jesus in order to meet Him. Just like after an engagement you don't get married the next day! It is months, maybe even years until the couple actually performs the sacrament of marriage. During that time of engagement, the couple reflects on what they are about to enter into, and in the same way should we ponder over the meaning of the first coming of Christ!

I am going to be frankly honest and say that I've slacked this Advent. But it's not too late; it's never too late. If you guys are like me and just waiting for Christmas, don't just wait! Prepare your hearts by reading Scripture. Love even more by baking cookies for a neighbor. Appreciate what you have by spending time with your family.

I pray that everyone has a blessed Christmas! :) Hopefully I will be able to post more regularly now that I am getting in the swing of things. Merry Christmas!

All through Christ,
Maddie

A Blessed Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving honestly didn't become one of my favorite holidays until today. 

I guess I never really saw the beauty in being thankful. I mean, I knew that that was what Thanksgiving was all about (Thankfully I do get context clues in titles ;) ), but it seemed to me more of a reason to eat a lot and prep for Black Friday shopping. 

One of my favorite things about having a phone is being able to have group chats, and being able to collaborate with numerous people. One of my group chats is an inspirational one, where we send inspiring quotes/Bible verses and ask each other for prayers. I requested that we should go around and say what we are thankful for (that seems the proper thing to do, right?) but what people replied really blew me away. 

I didn't know how beautiful and precious a grateful heart is until I heard my friends thank God for what they are truly thankful for. These are some of the things they said . 

(And yes, we are teenagers so expect some text speak and emojis. :D)

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"I'm so grateful for real true friends. The kind that would stick up for me and always got my back... my passion in theatre, community and God. Im thankful for my education, for religious rights, a good job, my own car, and mostly thankful for my best friend Jesus. rele thankful for those days when my mom buys good cereal and all of you who inspire me every day." 

"I'm thankful for my two sisters that I can talk to and hang out with but also my brothers who, even tho they aren't always hear, still lift me up when I need some brotherly love. And especially my friends...because without them I would probably be in a hole crying my eyes out everyday. But honestly I'm so thankful for all the little blessings in life like a roof over my head, my bed, my violin, water, food, my parents and good health. AND I JUST LOVE YOU ALL AND IM GONNA STOP OR ILL WRITE A BOOK!!!!"

"I never thought that I could love a group of people so much. You guys inspire me everyday to live the best for God. I am truly thankful for each and everyone of you and I cherish every single moment we share together. Thanks for being there and guiding me closer to Jesus. I would be lost without you guys. Thank you!" 

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All these quotes made my heart so happy, I just had to make a big ol' list of what I am grateful for. You all should too, if you want to be happy. Which I assume you do. Yup. 

• My bed and my covers. I really really love how comfy they are. I honestly am so grateful for my memory foam mattress. 
• Education- my friend and I were talking about this the other day, and we realized how blessed we are to have education and how much we complain about it. Halfway across the world, people don't know how to write their own name. To be able to learn so much is something I remind myself to be grateful for. 
• My youth group- my youth group is SO awesome, I wish I could take you all to it. (OOH maybe if I get a YouTube channel I could vlog THAT WOULD BE COOL) Everyone is so kind and funny and loves Jesus so much that it makes me want to move into my youth room with all my friends. Jesus definitely hangs out there a lot. :) 
• My theater community- I can't even explain how much my theatre community (CYT) means to me. Most of my best friends come from there, and each and every one of them has impacted me in a uniquely beautiful way. I learned how to worship, and how to empathize, and how to stand like a tree at CYT :). Love you all!
• My family- I didn't realize how lucky I am to have such an accepting and wonderful family until I look at some of my friend's situations. My parents are still madly in love, I have a grandparent live close to me, and even though most of my family lives in Minnesota, I see them once or twice a year. God is really good man. 
• YOU guys. And this blog. It's crazy how much I get out of writing this blog. It's a stress relief, and way to share who and what I love. Thanks. :) 

What are you guys thankful for? Let me know in the comments. 

I hope you all have a blessed Thanksgiving. 

All through Christ,

Maddie

Why I Started Receiving the Eucharist on my Tongue

Okay, so this idea of receiving the Eucharist on my tongue has been on my mind for for-e-ver. Deep down in the smallest corners of my heart, I knew I wanted to start receiving the Eucharist on my tongue.. because that's what my holy role models do and who doesn't want to become more like their holy role models? And because I feel like it is more respectful towards Jesus.. not saying that receiving it on your hands isn't! Just for me I tend to kind of slack with my hands and not give the Host as much respect as I should, so I felt like receiving it on my tongue would be easier.

But for years I have shied away because of my inner list of a million and three things that could go wrong. 

MY INNER LIST OF 1,000,00,003 THINGS THAT COULD GO WRONG

(I don't know if you have caught on or not, but I really like lists :D)

1. I drop the Host- AHHH I had a nightmare about this and I dropped the host and everyone was staring at me and I literally was so afraid to receive the Eucharist on my hands the next day it was so traumatizing...

2. I lick the sacristan.- #awkward

3. I look super stupid and super weird and everyone judges me-

who IS that girl? She has no clue what she is doing. (Which is right, but still.)

1,000,000,003. All three things occur at once- Scarier than a ghost on Halloween. 

So my constant reminder of the aforementioned list of terror kept my in my safe little bubble of receiving the Host on my hands and wishing I was brave enough to receive it on my tongue immediately after I said "Amen". 

BUT the story gets better.

I was at my Catholic church camp this summer (let's go Tekakwitha!) and we had a Mass on our first night to kick off the week. And being at a camp, you know, you get down and dirty. So I had a bunch of dirt and grime on my hands from who knows what, and I thought to myself, "I really shouldn't receive Jesus on dirty hands". 

And then the next thought occurred... aren't our hands always dirty? Dirty with the sins we have, dirty with the mean thoughts we have thought about people... and physically dirty accidentally marker-ing yourself and such? But that's okay, because the power of forgiveness and confession wipes that all away. But I can't I am always squeaky clean when I line up in the Eucharist line.

And guys, as I was going up to receive communion, I felt this really strange but welcomed wave of courage flow into me, later to be named as the Holy Spirit. And I felt like I could conquer the world, and I had 0 fear of receiving the Host on my tongue! And guess what-

I did it! And I didn't drop the host, I didn't lick the priest, and I didn't look super stupid (actually I don't know that for sure)... but I am pretty sure I opened both my hands and my mouth because the priest got this super confused look on his face, but STILL. 

And I gave God an imaginary little fist pump there and I was awkwardly smiling (well I guess you should be beaming after Communion I mean it's JESUS we're talking about here) and it was really great. 

And ever since then, Maddie has been receiving the Eucharist on her tongue. And yes, she has licked a few people (so sorry about that) but she hasn't dropped the Eucharist yet! But she still has nightmares...

But it's all good. :) After all, it's JESUS we're talking about, can I get an amen? xD (If you actually said amen into your computer, you're my new favorite person).

Again, I don't want you guys to be under the impression that I am saying that you guys should all receive the Eucharist on your tongue. Nope, not at all! This is just something that has helped me progress in my spiritual life.. and if it works for you too that is awesome! You guys are great. Have a fantastic week!

All through Christ,

Maddie

UPDATE

So apparently I am not dead.

High school doesn't kill people right away apparently. :D

You probably have one of two reactions. One, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH CHILD" or "Oh great. She's back." *headdesk*.

So in case you don't know, I recently started high school! *cues applause*. And so far I have survived. That's super exciting.

But with high school comes 2/3 hours of homework, and a lot of driving (my school is 30 minutes away), and a lot of debating about what activities you really want to spend your time on because the more you think about it, the less time you realize you have. 

Good Things About High School

1. New people. New teachers. New places to get lost (well I guess that isn't good...)

2. High school you are given more freedom (but with more freedom comes more responsibility so...)

3. DAILY MASS IS ATTAINABLE it's great. I love the chapel at my school. I literally feel peace whenever I walk into it. It's great. 

4. The cafeteria food is really good. Like, I wish it wasn't that good because I am spending waaay too much money heh heh. I think the hardest Lenten promise I might ever make is not getting food from the cafeteria. *gulps*.
5. My uniform is actually super comfy. And my skirt has pockets. And I can wear whatever socks I want. Yay for uniforms.

Not-so-Good Things About High School

1. IT'S HIGH SCHOOL I am growing up and soon I will have to actually think about colleges and futures and AH someone stop time please.
2. A lot of homework. Less social time. More stress time. :)
3. A lot of hard thinking- it's not elementary school any more (see note 1). Everything is taken a step farther.
4. My school is 30 minutes away. I spend at least an hour a day driving... and that's just for school. If I have rehearsal for the musical (which is Guys and Dolls by the way) then it's 2 hours a day.

Hey well look at that, the good things outweigh the bad! That's always a plus!

But let me just say the reason I haven't been posting is 1- high school is a lot to adapt to and 2- my school computer won't let me access my blog. So finally I got on my mom's computer. (Thanks Mom!)

You'll be seeing more of me soon, I promise. I am trying to get a review up of the newest Kendrick brothers movie, War Room, perhaps write some reflections on why God doesn't give you what you want all the time, and let you all know of some books that have boosted my spiritual inspiration.

Just a small note- these posts may be shorter than I usually write, just for the sake of how much time I have.

But let me know- how was your guys' summer? How's school going so far? Let me know in the comment section or email me at randommusings13@gmail.com . :)

Thanks for being amazing!

All through Christ,

Maddie

Dwelling Among Us

"And the Word became flesh, and made His dwelling among us." 

John 1:14

Does anyone else feel that strain in your neck when you are looking up at your church's crucifix? I know the one in my church is placed pretty high up. From certain vantage points, it feels super awkward to gaze upon the face of Jesus... and I feel bad but my neck is practically touching my back and I am sure I look stupid. 

It was during adoration one time that it hit me. I looked up at the crucifix, and then my gaze slowly dropped to the monstrance in front of me. And I realized, that Jesus doesn't want us to look so high- He doesn't want us to find Him in Heaven on our time on Earth. Because he is dwelling with us, eye to eye. That's why we can adore Him and consume Him in the Eucharist, because He is present with us on Earth. 

So not only did the kinks in my neck cease, but my kinks in the thoughts of Jesus being so far away released. Because He's not far away at all; He is waiting in our hearts! Pretty darn amazing, if you ask me. 

Happiness

Hello friends!

First note before we get into the actual blog... I don't know if you guys know this or not, but for about two-ish years now I have been contributing and now co-managing this wonderful blog called Fire of the Spirit! Fire of the Spirit is a community of Catholic teens that produce media for the benefit and inspiration of other Catholic teens. What started out as a small newsletter, has now blossomed into a full blown online magazine, YouTube channel, and frequently posting blog! I have been so honored to collaborate with these very faith-filled Catholic teenagers from all around the world. I recently uploaded this post onto their blog, so I highly recommend you read this post, and then check out the blog! The link is here. Their main website is here. Let me know what you guys think! 

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It’s the one question that we all ask.

It’s the one thing that we all long for. It is the goal of humanity.

Happiness.

Happiness is something we all strive for, although our definitions may very from person to person. But how do we reach happiness? What can we do to be happy?

The first step to reaching this is to realize what you want. If you want to be happy for an hour, watch an episode of your favorite television show. If you want to be happy for a day, hang out with your friends. If you want to be happy for a week, go on vacation. If you want to be happy for a year, get rich.*

But if you want to be happy forever, you need God.

Sometimes I don’t like when devotionals or reflections really sugar-coat things, so I am going to give you the cold hard truth

TRUTH #1: You will never, ever be happy without God.

Period. No exceptions. Sure, we can hide from God our entire lives and indulge ourselves, but we will never quench the feeling of thirst that we have in our souls.

Do you know why? The answer is simple. Because God has written His love for you on your heart. From the first moment of your existence, He knew that He was the best path for you, so he inscribed it onto your heart so you would never forget. It is true, we do not forget, but sometimes our lives, our desires, and the world can cover our hearts and shroud the message of God.

The materials and pleasures of this life are fleeting, and in a sense, meaningless. God gives us purpose in our life. Why are we here? God. Who made us? God. Who loves us more than any dang thing in the world? God. So who/what is going to make us happy?

I think you should answer that one for yourself.

I like to think of it like this. We all have altars to God. (If you are Christian anyways. If not, the bricks are there). From our Baptism, we were made children of God. When we were baptized the foundation of the altar was laid. So imagine your relationship with God as that.

Society and the components of life are like salesmen. They dress in bright clothes, have loud voices, and are very, very good at distracting you. Not to mention, their middle names are Liar. They like to jump in front of God’s altar like it is just another vending table. They yell at you, they tug at you, and they won’t stop. There is more and more that sell their wares until you can’t see or hear God anymore. Yet the altar is still there, although it may be covered in cobwebs and dust.

Can you see your altar? Can you see God welcoming you with open arms? Can you hear His voice calling your name? I know for me, it is a constant struggle to keep my eyes fixed on God, because I get so distracted. It is so hard, and it is something that we will be dealing with until we reach Heaven.

TRUTH #2: You can destroy your conscience.

And that should scare you. Because I know it scared me. To imagine a life where you don’t know the difference between right and wrong is down-right frightening. Because you can destroy your conscience. It’s like a habit, when you go against your conscience again and again, you stop listening to it’s voice. It starts fading, and what you want overpowers what God wants. Soon enough, you don’t hear it at all.

Now don’t be scared that this is happening to you, because unless you are always thinking about how to make the world worse, this isn’t happening to you. But really think about it. There might be places where it is duller than others. Your conscience is like a muscle, the more it is used, the stronger it gets, and soon it becomes second nature.

TRUTH #3: It’s not always going to be a Disney movie.

I feel like when most people think of happiness, they think of a Disney movie.

And pixie dust, Peter. 

The princess falls in love with the prince, and they get married and live happily ever after.

We live in a dark world full of super weird and depressing and terrible things. Because of our sin, we will never always be 100 % happy and ready to roll. Free will gives us a temptation that will almost all-ways beat us out because we want our happiness like we want our french fries, fast and bottomless but almost always regretful after you eat the entire restaurants worth.

We need the bad days to make the happy ones that much better. It’s never going to be perfect, but in Heaven it will. So we can be princesses/princes in Heaven. I call Ariel, thank you. :)

What are the little things that make you happy?

All through Christ,

Maddie

*= Format taken from Matthew Kelly’s Confirmation Devotional Decision Point

America

Oh! thus be it ever when the freemen shall stand

Between their loved home and the war's desolation

Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the Heaven rescued land

Praise the pow'r that hath made and preserved us a nation

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just

And thi be our motto, "In God is our trust"

And the Star Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave

-Francis Scott Key-

To all of my American readers:

HEY IT'S INDEPENDENCE DAY LET US CELEBRATE! :) 

Yeah, we may be 49th in the rankings for life expectancy, but at least its a good life full of red, white and blue.



Thanks guys.



And there is someone else we gotta thank as well.




Yup. Without God, America wouldn't be here today... get that part right Congress.

So hey, these things called "life, liberty and pursuit of happiness?" That was God.



Tonight as your watching the great fireworks,



chowing down on some good ol' 'Murican food




and waving the flag of freedom,



remember that we owe it all to that Big Guy Upstairs.

'Till later. Have a great independence day Americans! And for everyone else... you can set off fireworks anyways because we're pretty cool... most of the time. :)




All through Christ,

Maddie