Awaiting

A lot of times I feel like life is just one big waiting game.

Waiting to be able to be in the car without a car seat.
Waiting to be old enough to get my ears pierced.
Waiting for 8th grade to be confirmed.
Waiting to drive so I don't have to get the "oh you're a freshmen" pity look. :)
Waiting to grow up.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

But in sometimes we get so wrapped up in the waiting and anticipation that we don't fully understand what we are waiting for.

When I was younger I was so set on dreaming and waiting to be older so I could shop alone with my friends and start to drive and babysit and all those "older kid" things, that I forgot to take in and appreciate what I had. If I could tell younger me one thing, it would be "enjoy this while it lasts. It gets better, but it also gets a heck of a lot harder."

Advent is a season of waiting- yes. But it is not a season of dormant waiting or lazy waiting. We must be alive, ready, active! Jesus is coming, are we prepared?

I myself have been a victim of being so wrapped up in getting Christmas presents and decorating my room and going ice skating that I totally get on the wrong track. Yeah, I know it's about Jesus, but do I also know that it's just as much about me and Jesus? After all, Jesus came into the world for one purpose- to die for me. Advent is a time to grow closer to Jesus in order to meet Him. Just like after an engagement you don't get married the next day! It is months, maybe even years until the couple actually performs the sacrament of marriage. During that time of engagement, the couple reflects on what they are about to enter into, and in the same way should we ponder over the meaning of the first coming of Christ!

I am going to be frankly honest and say that I've slacked this Advent. But it's not too late; it's never too late. If you guys are like me and just waiting for Christmas, don't just wait! Prepare your hearts by reading Scripture. Love even more by baking cookies for a neighbor. Appreciate what you have by spending time with your family.

I pray that everyone has a blessed Christmas! :) Hopefully I will be able to post more regularly now that I am getting in the swing of things. Merry Christmas!

All through Christ,
Maddie

A Blessed Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving honestly didn't become one of my favorite holidays until today. 

I guess I never really saw the beauty in being thankful. I mean, I knew that that was what Thanksgiving was all about (Thankfully I do get context clues in titles ;) ), but it seemed to me more of a reason to eat a lot and prep for Black Friday shopping. 

One of my favorite things about having a phone is being able to have group chats, and being able to collaborate with numerous people. One of my group chats is an inspirational one, where we send inspiring quotes/Bible verses and ask each other for prayers. I requested that we should go around and say what we are thankful for (that seems the proper thing to do, right?) but what people replied really blew me away. 

I didn't know how beautiful and precious a grateful heart is until I heard my friends thank God for what they are truly thankful for. These are some of the things they said . 

(And yes, we are teenagers so expect some text speak and emojis. :D)

-

"I'm so grateful for real true friends. The kind that would stick up for me and always got my back... my passion in theatre, community and God. Im thankful for my education, for religious rights, a good job, my own car, and mostly thankful for my best friend Jesus. rele thankful for those days when my mom buys good cereal and all of you who inspire me every day." 

"I'm thankful for my two sisters that I can talk to and hang out with but also my brothers who, even tho they aren't always hear, still lift me up when I need some brotherly love. And especially my friends...because without them I would probably be in a hole crying my eyes out everyday. But honestly I'm so thankful for all the little blessings in life like a roof over my head, my bed, my violin, water, food, my parents and good health. AND I JUST LOVE YOU ALL AND IM GONNA STOP OR ILL WRITE A BOOK!!!!"

"I never thought that I could love a group of people so much. You guys inspire me everyday to live the best for God. I am truly thankful for each and everyone of you and I cherish every single moment we share together. Thanks for being there and guiding me closer to Jesus. I would be lost without you guys. Thank you!" 

-

All these quotes made my heart so happy, I just had to make a big ol' list of what I am grateful for. You all should too, if you want to be happy. Which I assume you do. Yup. 

• My bed and my covers. I really really love how comfy they are. I honestly am so grateful for my memory foam mattress. 
• Education- my friend and I were talking about this the other day, and we realized how blessed we are to have education and how much we complain about it. Halfway across the world, people don't know how to write their own name. To be able to learn so much is something I remind myself to be grateful for. 
• My youth group- my youth group is SO awesome, I wish I could take you all to it. (OOH maybe if I get a YouTube channel I could vlog THAT WOULD BE COOL) Everyone is so kind and funny and loves Jesus so much that it makes me want to move into my youth room with all my friends. Jesus definitely hangs out there a lot. :) 
• My theater community- I can't even explain how much my theatre community (CYT) means to me. Most of my best friends come from there, and each and every one of them has impacted me in a uniquely beautiful way. I learned how to worship, and how to empathize, and how to stand like a tree at CYT :). Love you all!
• My family- I didn't realize how lucky I am to have such an accepting and wonderful family until I look at some of my friend's situations. My parents are still madly in love, I have a grandparent live close to me, and even though most of my family lives in Minnesota, I see them once or twice a year. God is really good man. 
• YOU guys. And this blog. It's crazy how much I get out of writing this blog. It's a stress relief, and way to share who and what I love. Thanks. :) 

What are you guys thankful for? Let me know in the comments. 

I hope you all have a blessed Thanksgiving. 

All through Christ,

Maddie

Why I Started Receiving the Eucharist on my Tongue

Okay, so this idea of receiving the Eucharist on my tongue has been on my mind for for-e-ver. Deep down in the smallest corners of my heart, I knew I wanted to start receiving the Eucharist on my tongue.. because that's what my holy role models do and who doesn't want to become more like their holy role models? And because I feel like it is more respectful towards Jesus.. not saying that receiving it on your hands isn't! Just for me I tend to kind of slack with my hands and not give the Host as much respect as I should, so I felt like receiving it on my tongue would be easier.

But for years I have shied away because of my inner list of a million and three things that could go wrong. 

MY INNER LIST OF 1,000,00,003 THINGS THAT COULD GO WRONG

(I don't know if you have caught on or not, but I really like lists :D)

1. I drop the Host- AHHH I had a nightmare about this and I dropped the host and everyone was staring at me and I literally was so afraid to receive the Eucharist on my hands the next day it was so traumatizing...

2. I lick the sacristan.- #awkward

3. I look super stupid and super weird and everyone judges me-

who IS that girl? She has no clue what she is doing. (Which is right, but still.)

1,000,000,003. All three things occur at once- Scarier than a ghost on Halloween. 

So my constant reminder of the aforementioned list of terror kept my in my safe little bubble of receiving the Host on my hands and wishing I was brave enough to receive it on my tongue immediately after I said "Amen". 

BUT the story gets better.

I was at my Catholic church camp this summer (let's go Tekakwitha!) and we had a Mass on our first night to kick off the week. And being at a camp, you know, you get down and dirty. So I had a bunch of dirt and grime on my hands from who knows what, and I thought to myself, "I really shouldn't receive Jesus on dirty hands". 

And then the next thought occurred... aren't our hands always dirty? Dirty with the sins we have, dirty with the mean thoughts we have thought about people... and physically dirty accidentally marker-ing yourself and such? But that's okay, because the power of forgiveness and confession wipes that all away. But I can't I am always squeaky clean when I line up in the Eucharist line.

And guys, as I was going up to receive communion, I felt this really strange but welcomed wave of courage flow into me, later to be named as the Holy Spirit. And I felt like I could conquer the world, and I had 0 fear of receiving the Host on my tongue! And guess what-

I did it! And I didn't drop the host, I didn't lick the priest, and I didn't look super stupid (actually I don't know that for sure)... but I am pretty sure I opened both my hands and my mouth because the priest got this super confused look on his face, but STILL. 

And I gave God an imaginary little fist pump there and I was awkwardly smiling (well I guess you should be beaming after Communion I mean it's JESUS we're talking about here) and it was really great. 

And ever since then, Maddie has been receiving the Eucharist on her tongue. And yes, she has licked a few people (so sorry about that) but she hasn't dropped the Eucharist yet! But she still has nightmares...

But it's all good. :) After all, it's JESUS we're talking about, can I get an amen? xD (If you actually said amen into your computer, you're my new favorite person).

Again, I don't want you guys to be under the impression that I am saying that you guys should all receive the Eucharist on your tongue. Nope, not at all! This is just something that has helped me progress in my spiritual life.. and if it works for you too that is awesome! You guys are great. Have a fantastic week!

All through Christ,

Maddie

UPDATE

So apparently I am not dead.

High school doesn't kill people right away apparently. :D

You probably have one of two reactions. One, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH CHILD" or "Oh great. She's back." *headdesk*.

So in case you don't know, I recently started high school! *cues applause*. And so far I have survived. That's super exciting.

But with high school comes 2/3 hours of homework, and a lot of driving (my school is 30 minutes away), and a lot of debating about what activities you really want to spend your time on because the more you think about it, the less time you realize you have. 

Good Things About High School

1. New people. New teachers. New places to get lost (well I guess that isn't good...)

2. High school you are given more freedom (but with more freedom comes more responsibility so...)

3. DAILY MASS IS ATTAINABLE it's great. I love the chapel at my school. I literally feel peace whenever I walk into it. It's great. 

4. The cafeteria food is really good. Like, I wish it wasn't that good because I am spending waaay too much money heh heh. I think the hardest Lenten promise I might ever make is not getting food from the cafeteria. *gulps*.
5. My uniform is actually super comfy. And my skirt has pockets. And I can wear whatever socks I want. Yay for uniforms.

Not-so-Good Things About High School

1. IT'S HIGH SCHOOL I am growing up and soon I will have to actually think about colleges and futures and AH someone stop time please.
2. A lot of homework. Less social time. More stress time. :)
3. A lot of hard thinking- it's not elementary school any more (see note 1). Everything is taken a step farther.
4. My school is 30 minutes away. I spend at least an hour a day driving... and that's just for school. If I have rehearsal for the musical (which is Guys and Dolls by the way) then it's 2 hours a day.

Hey well look at that, the good things outweigh the bad! That's always a plus!

But let me just say the reason I haven't been posting is 1- high school is a lot to adapt to and 2- my school computer won't let me access my blog. So finally I got on my mom's computer. (Thanks Mom!)

You'll be seeing more of me soon, I promise. I am trying to get a review up of the newest Kendrick brothers movie, War Room, perhaps write some reflections on why God doesn't give you what you want all the time, and let you all know of some books that have boosted my spiritual inspiration.

Just a small note- these posts may be shorter than I usually write, just for the sake of how much time I have.

But let me know- how was your guys' summer? How's school going so far? Let me know in the comment section or email me at randommusings13@gmail.com . :)

Thanks for being amazing!

All through Christ,

Maddie

Dwelling Among Us

"And the Word became flesh, and made His dwelling among us." 

John 1:14

Does anyone else feel that strain in your neck when you are looking up at your church's crucifix? I know the one in my church is placed pretty high up. From certain vantage points, it feels super awkward to gaze upon the face of Jesus... and I feel bad but my neck is practically touching my back and I am sure I look stupid. 

It was during adoration one time that it hit me. I looked up at the crucifix, and then my gaze slowly dropped to the monstrance in front of me. And I realized, that Jesus doesn't want us to look so high- He doesn't want us to find Him in Heaven on our time on Earth. Because he is dwelling with us, eye to eye. That's why we can adore Him and consume Him in the Eucharist, because He is present with us on Earth. 

So not only did the kinks in my neck cease, but my kinks in the thoughts of Jesus being so far away released. Because He's not far away at all; He is waiting in our hearts! Pretty darn amazing, if you ask me. 

Happiness

Hello friends!

First note before we get into the actual blog... I don't know if you guys know this or not, but for about two-ish years now I have been contributing and now co-managing this wonderful blog called Fire of the Spirit! Fire of the Spirit is a community of Catholic teens that produce media for the benefit and inspiration of other Catholic teens. What started out as a small newsletter, has now blossomed into a full blown online magazine, YouTube channel, and frequently posting blog! I have been so honored to collaborate with these very faith-filled Catholic teenagers from all around the world. I recently uploaded this post onto their blog, so I highly recommend you read this post, and then check out the blog! The link is here. Their main website is here. Let me know what you guys think! 

-

It’s the one question that we all ask.

It’s the one thing that we all long for. It is the goal of humanity.

Happiness.

Happiness is something we all strive for, although our definitions may very from person to person. But how do we reach happiness? What can we do to be happy?

The first step to reaching this is to realize what you want. If you want to be happy for an hour, watch an episode of your favorite television show. If you want to be happy for a day, hang out with your friends. If you want to be happy for a week, go on vacation. If you want to be happy for a year, get rich.*

But if you want to be happy forever, you need God.

Sometimes I don’t like when devotionals or reflections really sugar-coat things, so I am going to give you the cold hard truth

TRUTH #1: You will never, ever be happy without God.

Period. No exceptions. Sure, we can hide from God our entire lives and indulge ourselves, but we will never quench the feeling of thirst that we have in our souls.

Do you know why? The answer is simple. Because God has written His love for you on your heart. From the first moment of your existence, He knew that He was the best path for you, so he inscribed it onto your heart so you would never forget. It is true, we do not forget, but sometimes our lives, our desires, and the world can cover our hearts and shroud the message of God.

The materials and pleasures of this life are fleeting, and in a sense, meaningless. God gives us purpose in our life. Why are we here? God. Who made us? God. Who loves us more than any dang thing in the world? God. So who/what is going to make us happy?

I think you should answer that one for yourself.

I like to think of it like this. We all have altars to God. (If you are Christian anyways. If not, the bricks are there). From our Baptism, we were made children of God. When we were baptized the foundation of the altar was laid. So imagine your relationship with God as that.

Society and the components of life are like salesmen. They dress in bright clothes, have loud voices, and are very, very good at distracting you. Not to mention, their middle names are Liar. They like to jump in front of God’s altar like it is just another vending table. They yell at you, they tug at you, and they won’t stop. There is more and more that sell their wares until you can’t see or hear God anymore. Yet the altar is still there, although it may be covered in cobwebs and dust.

Can you see your altar? Can you see God welcoming you with open arms? Can you hear His voice calling your name? I know for me, it is a constant struggle to keep my eyes fixed on God, because I get so distracted. It is so hard, and it is something that we will be dealing with until we reach Heaven.

TRUTH #2: You can destroy your conscience.

And that should scare you. Because I know it scared me. To imagine a life where you don’t know the difference between right and wrong is down-right frightening. Because you can destroy your conscience. It’s like a habit, when you go against your conscience again and again, you stop listening to it’s voice. It starts fading, and what you want overpowers what God wants. Soon enough, you don’t hear it at all.

Now don’t be scared that this is happening to you, because unless you are always thinking about how to make the world worse, this isn’t happening to you. But really think about it. There might be places where it is duller than others. Your conscience is like a muscle, the more it is used, the stronger it gets, and soon it becomes second nature.

TRUTH #3: It’s not always going to be a Disney movie.

I feel like when most people think of happiness, they think of a Disney movie.

And pixie dust, Peter. 

The princess falls in love with the prince, and they get married and live happily ever after.

We live in a dark world full of super weird and depressing and terrible things. Because of our sin, we will never always be 100 % happy and ready to roll. Free will gives us a temptation that will almost all-ways beat us out because we want our happiness like we want our french fries, fast and bottomless but almost always regretful after you eat the entire restaurants worth.

We need the bad days to make the happy ones that much better. It’s never going to be perfect, but in Heaven it will. So we can be princesses/princes in Heaven. I call Ariel, thank you. :)

What are the little things that make you happy?

All through Christ,

Maddie

*= Format taken from Matthew Kelly’s Confirmation Devotional Decision Point

America

Oh! thus be it ever when the freemen shall stand

Between their loved home and the war's desolation

Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the Heaven rescued land

Praise the pow'r that hath made and preserved us a nation

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just

And thi be our motto, "In God is our trust"

And the Star Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave

-Francis Scott Key-

To all of my American readers:

HEY IT'S INDEPENDENCE DAY LET US CELEBRATE! :) 

Yeah, we may be 49th in the rankings for life expectancy, but at least its a good life full of red, white and blue.



Thanks guys.



And there is someone else we gotta thank as well.




Yup. Without God, America wouldn't be here today... get that part right Congress.

So hey, these things called "life, liberty and pursuit of happiness?" That was God.



Tonight as your watching the great fireworks,



chowing down on some good ol' 'Murican food




and waving the flag of freedom,



remember that we owe it all to that Big Guy Upstairs.

'Till later. Have a great independence day Americans! And for everyone else... you can set off fireworks anyways because we're pretty cool... most of the time. :)




All through Christ,

Maddie

"Male and Female He Created them..."

 

"There is something genuinely beautiful about a wedding. People fly in from all over just to see someone they love swear before God and before their family that the person in front of them is the one they want to be with for the rest of their life.

There is something angelic about seeing a woman dressed in white and feeling like a princess walk down the aisle with her father by her side as she walks toward a man all dressed up in an uncomfortable tuxedo with tears of joy in her eyes. 

There is something bewitching about that exchange of vows in which they swear to each other that
for “richer or for poorer, in sickness and health until death do us part” they will remain faithful that brings everyone to tears.

There is something dazzling about the smile on her face after that first kiss as man and wife.
There is something captivating about the way he looks at her that makes every little girl dream of her wedding day.

And there is something glorious about the love between a man and a woman who now desire to live together as one and create the future.

We support marriage. We support the love between one man and one woman so that together they may create the future. A future based on the principles of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

 

 ~ Monica Marie

 

---
 

When I was in 7th grade, the topic of gay marriage came up at my lunch table. I wasn't really in the conversation at first; I was just listening to what some of my friends were saying. Then they paused, and looked at me. And I said, "I don't believe in that sort of stuff."

 

The girl who was sitting across from me is someday going to be a politician, or a lawyer, I'm telling ya. She had a very opinionated mind, which I admire about her. But with an opinionated mind, comes an opinionated mouth, and we got into a debate of sorts.

 

She, of course, was on the side of "love is love" and "everyone deserves to be happy" and things like that. In 7th grade, I didn't really know how to defend myself! I tried my best by saying it was not God's plan and things like that, but on the inside I was screaming for answers. Situations like this didn't come up often, especially because I attended a Catholic school. The normal lunch conversations were about how immature boys can be and how much homework we had that day. :)

 

Soon after that debate, the whole grade knew I was against gay marriage. People would stop me in the hallways and ask me "So you don't like gay people?" or make fun of me and talking about their gay uncles or what not in front of my face.

 

It was hard, especially since I was young and in a sense, defenseless.

 

Now that I am a older (hey, a year can do a lot :D) and I have educated myself... and it couldn't have been at a better timing.

 

As most of you may know, a few days ago the Supreme Court made it official. Gay "marriage" is now legal in all 50 states.

 

How very, very sad.

 

The sacrament of marriage is now being redefined by people who think that the Bible verse "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and the two shall become one." means something totally different. This beautiful sacrament is now being torn apart, ripped by the seams. The pages of marriage are being ripped out, and instead being stuffed in by "morals" that some believe they can just make up.

 

God never planned this for us.

 

In the beginning, God created man and woman. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. God created the man for the woman, and the woman for the man. That is why only a man and woman together can create life. Because marriage has both love, and life in the union.

 

Think about it this way, even animals do not do it! Every animal "couple" if you will, is a male and a female. What's the difference with humans? Two words: free will.

 

What is next, marrying your pet? Having two wives, or three husbands? It sounds crazy now, but only a few hundred years ago people scoffed at the idea of same sex marriage.

 

But let's get this straight. Many people have the stereotype of pro-traditional marriage people, especially Catholic pro-traditional marriage believers, that they hate gays.

 

One couldn't be more wrong in fact.

 

We do not support gay/lesbians if they choose to act upon their homosexual feelings. However, we  will support them if they try hard to go against this temptation. Ever heard the quote of "hate the sin, love the sinner?" It's pretty much the same thing.

 

WHAT CAN WE DO?

 

My favorite part of this video is towards the beginning. I will rephrase it here just in case you didn't watch it. :)

 Imagine God lining up every person that will ever live. He goes down this line and goes "You sir, you will live during the time of the Crusades." And to the next person, "You will live during the Holocaust." And another person, "You will live during the American Revolution." Then He comes up to you. "You will live during 9/11, a time where killing babies is legal and a time where traditional marriage is falsely redefined."

 

God purposely put us in this position. God knows we can do something about it. It was no mistake that you are alive today, on June 28th 2015. Because God makes no mistakes, especially when it comes to the people He loves, and the plan He has for them.

 

It's going to be hard. We are going to be faced with tough decisions, laughing people, and terrible names. We are going to have to really think about what we believe and why. But Jesus promises to us: "...those persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven." The most used phrase in the Bible is "Do not fear."

 

So do not fear. I am here for you, and God is here for you. :)

Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in.

 

All through Christ,

 

Maddie

 

(I encourage you to also check this post by Fire of the Spirit Blog out, they have more information and resources than I do.And it was written way better, and way less confusingly. :) )

 



 

 

 

 



I am a Sinner

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet

'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever

(Casting Crowns, "Jesus Friend of Sinners")

I am a sinner.

I am a sinner, and I do not have this picture perfect relationship with God despite what it may seem on my blog. (I am not saying that you think this, just I have a feeling I may be suggesting this and I would like to apologize for it). These thoughts have been weighing on my heart for awhile now, and I decided this may seem like a good time to share them.

I have a terrible time staying humble (anyone else out there..?). When people congratulate me on my blog or thank me for a post, I really do not know what to say. I feel grateful, and I feel honored, and I try to say that the best I can, but I also want to say "I am not this holy all the time."

Because I really am not. Sure, I have these spurts when I feel as close to a saint as I can, but those come in short and sparing conditions. One day I feel like God and I are the best of friends, and the next day I question if He's even listening. I share what I believe will impact people, but what I am sorry for not telling you all before is that I am in no way, shape or form perfect, or even close to it.

Because I am a sinner. I am mean to my siblings, I am rude to my parents, I get distracted during Mass. And I am sorry.

I do want to change the view-point of my blog. I don't want it to be more of a "advice" giving blog than a "I have been there and this is what I learned". I might have a post about "5 Ways to Evangelize" or "How to Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet". But I write these because I have learned something beautiful from them, and I want to share it with you guys.

But because I am a sinner doesn't mean God doesn't love me. And because you are a sinner doesn't mean God doesn't love you. We all sin, we all make mistakes, but we are all lifted up into God's arms. And that is what comforts me.

Because sin was conquered by Christ.

So from one stubborn, level-headed sinner to another, let's take the Devil down together. :)

All through Christ,

Maddie

Dear America

"The mystic cords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart...should swell into a mighty chorus of remembrance, gratitude, and rededication on this solemn occasion."- Abraham Lincoln

 

Dear America,

I hope as you are enjoying the Memorial Day sales you remember. I hope as you travel to meet family and friends, you remember. I hope as you dig in to your hamburgers and hot dogs, you remember. I hope whenever you pass a soldier, you remember.

You remember that Memorial day is not about the sales, about traveling, or grilling. It's about those people who gave up their lives for one of the greatest things we own in the United States: freedom.

I don't think we remember that sometimes. That out there in the world, there is still such a thing as slavery. Whole states are starving. There is civil war going on. Some countries are so torn up by war, you can't recognize the difference between your brother, or your enemy. Some people don't have protection, they just have empty promises.

Yes, America, it might seem today that our government is worse than ever, but look how far we have come. We fought through the American Revolution to gain our independence from Britain. We struggled through numerous blueprints of governmental structure until we created the Constitution. We fought brother against brother to abolish slavery. We tore through two World Wars to protect others. We battled through racism, and took steps of peace towards equality. Even today, we fight for our rights.

This would not be possible without our soldiers; without those who gave up their lives for us.

So on this Memorial day, dear America, I ask that you remember and pray for all the soldiers, especially those who have died in battle. For it is because of them that we have our freedom, and our rights. It is because of them that we do not have to worry about our city being bombed. It is because of them that we live in the "Land of the free, and home of the brave."

All through Christ,

Maddie

"Cover them over with beautiful flowers, Deck them with garlands, those brothers of ours, Lying so silent by night and by day Sleeping the years of their manhood away. Give them the meed they have won in the past; Give them the honors their future forcast; Give them the chaplets they won in the strife; Give them the laurels they lost with their life." - Will Carleton

Post of an 8th Grade Graduate

(To my AMAZING friends... I will miss you all! This is for the amazing class of 2015.)

Although our time has ended

and we will be spending time apart

Just know you will have a special place

here, in my own heart.

I will never forget your smile, your laugh

or your voice.

Being friends with you was an amazing 

and unregretable choice.

May God bless you as you progress in the years to come

But don't forget the friends

where your foundation came from

I will miss you, and don't forget to keep in contact

high school is a pretty big deal

but not enough to forget that.

So now my poem's rambling

and I don't know what to say

But I had a wonderful time with you for 9 years

and your new life starts today.

Wow.

Yesterday was the final chapter in my life at my grade/junior high school. 9 years of memories, good teachers, angry teachers, bad lunch food, inside jokes and wonderful friends came to a close last night, in such a beautiful way. 

Thank you all.

Thank you first off to my parents, for giving me this AMAZING opportunity to blossom at this school. Thank you for paying the super expensive fees to attend a private school. Thanks to my mom for making lunches (until around 3rd grade, but even then making them fast if I ran out of time). Thanks for my dad for driving us to school when Mom needed a break. Thank you for driving me to who knows where! Thanks for coming to my field trips, and plays, and musicals. Thank you for planning playdates with my friends. Thanks to the both of you for supporting me throughout Kindergarten and all the way to the end of 8th grade. 

Thank you to my teachers who have helped my brain and knowledge grow. (Well not my actual brain but you get the point. :D) Thank you for pushing me when you knew I needed it, and for helping me when I got stuck. Thanks for yelling at me when I was being difficult, and comforting me when I had a bad day. Thank you for pushing off tests for an extra day... that can make a difference between an A and a B. Thank you for making me dissect a shark, doing a big vocations project, researching my family genealogy, reading a book I strongly disliked (and earned the nickname Debbie Downer for my not so secret hatred), and learning algebra. Most of all, thank you for shaping me into the young woman I am today.

Thank you to my parish priests. WOW you guys are amazing! I don't know about others, but if I were a guy, I would seriously discern the priesthood because you guys are that awesome! 

Father Tom, you are a rockstar. You have such passion and love for Jesus, it's hard not to jump for joy whenever you are talking! You are the wisest, holiest man I know. 

Father Nathan, you are certainly the Hip Priest, haha. :) In a good way, of course. You always know how to connect the hard symbolism of Jesus and the Bible to our daily lives. And I am pretty sure Jesus has a scrapbook of all your selfies. Do you get grace ever time you take one, especially with important people like Scott Hahn? :D 

And Father Alessandro... man you are one heck of a priest. Every single homily inspires me like I just got confirmed. I am so sure that Jesus is standing right behind you, whispering all the words because they sound like God! And not to mention your beautiful accent... I think you should do the entire Mass in Italian sometime. :) You inspire me so much! If I could remember all your homilies, I would have a ball writing them down for all the wonderful readers to see, in hopes that they inspire them as much as you inspired me! Thanks for being such a wonderful role model.

Also, thanks to the great deacon almost priest (wahoo) Deacon Dan! I kind of wish you weren't becoming a priest because Deacon Dan has such a great ring to it... but Father Dan sounds great too! I know we haven't talked that much, but hearing your vocation story and the stories of your travels are so amazing and they inspire me! And your vocation cirriculm is spot on. I hope to one day accomplish 1/5 of the things you have done. Have fun being a priest! :)

Thank you for my friends.I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know if I could've made through 9 years without the support of you guys! Each and every one of you has a special place in my heart, and I can't even begin to describe how you guys have shaped my life. 

(WARNING: SOME READERS MAY EXPIERENCE SIDE AFFECTS OF CONFUSION AND BEFUDDLEMENT AND MAY SAY "WHAT IS GOING ON" AS THEY READ THIS BIT. IT'S NORMAL. IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF YOU WERE THERE. :D) 

Cecilia-we've been through it all Cecil. From Kindergarten Daisy scouts to our jingles and talent shows, we have been the bestest of friends. I seriously don't know what would happen to me if we didn't play imaginary horses in second grade. I would've gone out of my mind... SOMEONE needed to play with me! :) 

Libby(Krispy Kramer)- You made me the crazy person I am. You made me appreciate unicorns, and maybe even tigers!You have always been my number one fan for the blog, and whenever I don't feel the inspiration I just think of you! Thank you for being the one to start our 7th Grade Girls Lenten Prayer group. You have such a heart for Jesus, and I am honored to call you one of my best friends!

Taylor(d of the Flies)- Maylor's Conterpritive Dance Team will always beat Abby Lee, and you know it. :) Thanks for being my friend and listening to my made up stories and tours of the heart. Thanks for being a broadcaster of games with me, and telling the clan about the weather. I am honored to work at the company with you, and you should be honored that I haven't demoted you to a SLAVE haha. 

Megan- MEGAN AH if I haven't told you yet and if you haven't read my letter, second grade me was jealous of you, and frankly, I still have a little left even today. Your beautiful-ness, organization, dancing.. agh you are perfect! I had so much fun messing around with you for 9 years! Hopefully you remember some words of wisdom I told you in 6th grade. Have fun at Joffrey, and don't forget little ol' me! >:)

Lauren- You are heading some pretty great places, my dear. I wish I could continue the journey in high school with you, but don't forget I am one call away. You are so beautiful, and you always lift my spirits. You're crazy in the best way, and everyone loves you! I am so glad you have become such a dear friend to me. ;)

Everyone else- You guys are awesome. 

Thank you to my readers! I don't know how you have stuck with me since I was at the wee age of 13. I mean, looking back I would've been kind of scared to read the ramblings of a new teenager! But you guys make it happen, you make the inspiration spark. Every comment, every nice thing, oh it makes my day!

And finally, Jesus. I love you soooo much and you love me enough to encourage my parents to send my to this school. Although some times I hated it, now I realize why. I don't think I would've been inspired this much if I went to a different school. I'm letting you know now, I will be holding your hand very tightly in high school, because sometimes I am scared of growing up. But everything will be just dandy because you are with me, and you have a very strong grip. I love you.

Until my next graduation post... which will be in high school *gulps*. Hehe, we won't talk about that for the sake of my parents, and my sanity. :)

All through Christ,

Maddie

-

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself 

any direction you choose.

You're on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

-Dr. Seuss

-

(PS- Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, as you may tell, graduation preparation and finals, etc. took up a lot of my time! Hopefully I will clog up your email box with some new posts soon! :D)

Teresa of Avila

 

"It is here-my daughters- that love is to be found. Not hidden in away in corners, but in the midst of occasions of sin. Believe me, although we may more fail and commit small lapses, our gain will be incomparably greater." - Teresa of Avila

 

If it's not obvious yet, I will tell you that Saint Teresa of Avila is my Confirmation saint. People always ask me why I would choose this saint. Frankly, she wasn't too popular with my class, most people thought she was boring. At first glance, sure, she looks like a regular old nun.

But she was anything but regular. I chose her for her beautiful, passionate devotion to God. But many saints have that. I also chose her because she is not perfect, and had struggles that I can relate to. Many saints as beautiful as they are, just seem perfect. They were virgins, they died young, they were martyred. (Again, not saying that they aren't beautiful and inspiring and amazing because they are!) Teresa however, lived to a good old age. She grew up rich, and at first didn't want to be a nun. She loved the rich life, full of perfumes, jewelry and titled men. In fact, it was her father that sent her to the convent to be educated and safe from the outside world where her delicate health was not flourishing. It wasn't until later in her life that she realized God's love and calling for her.

Her relationship with God wasn't also picture perfect either. After she entered the convent, she loved and longed for prayer. She felt like she was were she was supposed to be. But then she got dangerously sick- sick enough to fall into a coma. Sick enough for people to assume she was dead, and they started to put wax on her body. It was a miracle that she survived, and it took her many months to recover. However, instead of feeling closer to God, she felt more distant. After she recovered, prayer felt forced and God felt far away. During her daily hour of prayer, she was counting the minutes until it was over. She didn't really know what was wrong.

Then her second conversion happened, when she was looking upon Christ's face, she became overwhelmed with a sense of sorrow and passion for our Lord. She wept for hours upon hours for Jesus, and sorrow for her sins.

"We ourselves feel like what we are doing is but a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that drop."

Since then, she left a legacy. She was a part of the Carmelite order, but she felt it was a little to posh and generous for her sake. So she reformed, and created her own little order which partially focused on poverty. She went around the whole face of Spain, establishing many convents. She was discriminated, especially by the sisters in her former convent. They thought she was crazy, and just wanted attention. She was also condemned for her visions of God. During this time in Spain, anything that had to do out of the ordinary with Jesus was considered to be wrong, and made up only to appear holy. Throughout all of her life, Teresa was mocked for these. However, Teresa of Avila kept on going .

She was also a great writer, which is another reason of why I chose her. Her book, The Interior Castle, shows us the "castles" or stages of prayer. To me and to many others, Teresa was the queen of prayer and her writings showed it. She also wrote The Way of Perfection, which was kind of like a guide book for her sisters in the reformed convent. She became very good friends with Saint John of the Cross, who also wrote many great poems.


"Let nothing disturb you

Let nothing make you afraid.

All things are passing

God alone never changes

Patience gains all things.

If you have God

If you want for nothing,

God alone suffices."

Teresa was also a feisty one, which is also why I find her so great. When talking to God, Teresa complained about having people mistreat her. With good humor, God replied, "But that is how I treat my friends." Teresa, being the sassy person she was said back, "That must be why you have so few friends." Despite her fiery-ness, she also had a great, endearing personality, which drew many people to admire both her spiritual knowledge and her lovely company.

But her relationship with Jesus was so beautiful and loving, that it is hard not to be jealous. In fact, Jesus even appeared to her in a vision (one of many) and took her as His "spiritual" wife, and gave her a ring. An angel pierced her heart with a golden arrow to purify her soul. She would levitate sometimes during prayer because she was so close to God. One day she was standing in front of the convent, probably tending to something, and a small boy comes up in front of her. He asked her, "What is you name?" Teresa replied, "Teresa of Jesus" (this was her given name at the convent. Today she is known "of Avila" because she was born in Avila, Spain). The little boy smiles and said back, "Then I am Jesus of Teresa." How cool is that?!

And finally, Teresa's last words were "My Lord, it is time to move one. Well then, may Your will be done. O my Lord, and my Spouse, the hour that I have longed for has come. It is time for us to meet one another." She was so happy to finally meet the man she loved most, after all these years. And if I have even 1/100 of her devotion to God, I know that I will be on very good terms.

Saint Teresa of Avila, pray for us.

(Also, I ask that if you guys could please pray for me, since my Confirmation is coming up this Monday! I would appreciate all the prayers and the support to ask the Lord that I be ready and prepared to enter into this new chapter of my Catholic life. :) Thank you!)

 

 

 

the friday that changed the world

 (I ask before you start reading this, click here and listen to this song as you read.)

 

"Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world." John 1:29

 

Today is Good Friday, the most important day in the history of mankind. Because without this day, without Jesus' terrible suffering and death, we would not be here. Nor would we be in Heaven.
Because this Friday is the Friday that changed the world.

 

 

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, to that everyone who believes in Him ma not perish, but may have eternal life." John 3:16

 

I don't think we realize how much Jesus really did suffer for us. Not only the unbearable pain of being whipped, shoved around, and having the heavy weight of a wooden cross on your bleeding shoulders, but having to know that He would die. Because His entire life, he knew that His crucifixion was coming. How would you act if you knew every day that passed was one day closer to your painful death? How do you tell your friends, your followers, your people?

 

 

"Judas, who betrayed him, was standing with them." John 18:5

 

Think of your best friend, right now. What do you love most about him/her? Their humor, their empathy, their loyalty? One of Jesus' best friends betrayed Him. It's not like it was some follower who went to all of Jesus' sermons, or a Pharisee even. Jesus had thousands of followers, but only 12 apostles and the one who betrayed Jesus was one of them.

 

"At the cross her sorrow sharing

Torn with grief and torment bearing

Bitter sorrow pierced her heart"

 

And in the midst of all this, is Mary. Mary, Jesus' beautiful mother, who also knew from the moment of His birth that He would be crucified. Mary understood that it needed to happen, but it didn't change the sorrow that "like a sharp sword, pierced her heart". Mother Mary, pray for us.

 

"Truly, this man was the Son of God." Mark 15:19

But why should it matter today? Of course, Jesus died, but that was 2,000 years ago. But along with the soldiers and the Jews, we nailed Jesus to the cross. Because of our sin, our selfishness and our shame, we were right along with the Romans as they pierced his flesh with a nail. Every time we sin, we are pounding that hammer. Think about it. Think about our loving, sweet, beautiful Jesus who had as much innocence when He was 33 years old that He did when he was born, to be nailed to a cross and left there to suffocate and die. Because of our fallen nature, we helped. O Loving Jesus, have mercy on us.

Map of scars

A crown of thorns

Through all this pain was Heaven born

 A wooden cross

Stood on that hill

Our Savior was dying

Even still

 He saw you.

 



But the most important thing in, Jesus doesn't care. He just loves. He loves you so, so SO much that if you were the only person in existence, he would die the same death as He did for billions of people . How does that make you feel? That a perfect, loved human being would undergo humiliation, scourging and crucifixion just for you? 

As he was hanging on that cross, HE SAW YOU. He really did, he saw you right now, he saw your birth, and he sees your death. But most importantly, he sees you with Him in Heaven and that makes Him smile because that is the very reason of  why He died! So we could be with Him in Heaven.  And to Him, all that suffering was worth it. To us, it should be too.

"Therefore we, before him bending,
This great Sacrament revere;
Types and shadows have their ending,
For the newer rite is here;
Faith, our outward sense befriending,
Makes the inward vision clear."

Pange Lingua

 

So today, I encourage you to stop everything. Stop your work, stop your social life, stop electronics.
Give up everything and spend some time with Jesus. If there is any Stations of the Cross or reflective hours at your church, go to it. Lock yourself in your room for an hour and sit and listen to Jesus. If gore doesn't bother you too much, I highly recommend watching either The Passion or the crucifixion of Jesus from The Bible Miniseries. When you see these actions come to life, you can really understand why and how Jesus did it.

Crack open your Bible, read some prayers. Light a candle and let God come to you. Because if Jesus could die for us, then I think we owe Him a little quality time.

Good Friday is the most beautiful day of the year. Make the most of it. :)

Have a blessed rest of your Triduum, and a very happy Easter!

All through Christ,

Maddie



 

/journal entry I / cast your anxiety on Him

The blue is information that I didn't write in my journal, but I added so you guys wouldn't be confused. Other than that, this all comes straight out of my journal. Have a blessed, and stress free week, and don't forget to cast your anxiety upon Christ.

-----

Sunday, March 8th, 2015
6:30 PM
Weary (I always write down one word that describes my emotions at the end of the day.)

God,

It's been a lonnng week, and I am sorry for neglecting to write. This whole play thing (I helped direct a 7th grade play at my school, and it was show week when I was writing this entry.) was beyond stressful and that's just another package on top of 8th grade, high school, driving, relationships, etc. It's getting hard to juggle God. Some of the packages are falling off, and everyday it's getting harder to pick them back up. I don't know if I can bear this much weight for the rest of my

life.

But I know what to do. When I was anxious about Tekakwitha (an overnight camp, I get stomach anxiety sometimes) last year, I remember giving it all to You, and look how it turned out. (very well indeed.)

So here God, take away my tired, weary soul. Fix the cracks in my heart, help me be excited for graduation, not stressed out about high school. Help me look forward to our talks, not dreading to get up early. let me have an open heart to change. Help me find time throughout this every-busy week and life to seek You, to rest in You... Here I am LORD, take it away and make something beautiful out of my hurt, and my heart because that is what you love to do: make the broken beautiful.

(This is one of my favorite worship songs, and I just felt called to write it down in my journal.)

I lean not on my own understanding

My life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven

 

I give it all to You GOD
trusting that You'll make something

beautiful out of me

 

I give it all to You GOD

trusting that You'll make something

beautiful out of me

 

So I will climb this mountain

with my hands wide open

 

I will climb this mountain

with my hands wide open

 

I will climb this mountain

with my hands wide open

 

There's nothing I hold on to

Nothing I hold on to

Nothing I hold on to

 

Nothing I hold on to

Nothing I hold on to

Nothing I hold on to

 

 

"Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you."

1 Peter 5:7

 

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yolk upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest in your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light. " Matthew 11: 28-30

 

 

I think what this means is that You aren't going to take our sins, our faults, and our burdens and make them vanish. We are always going to have to carry a yolk, for we are sinners. But it's YOUR yolk that is easy and light. We will still be carrying burdens, yes, but You are right along besides me, whistling a happy tune, encouraging me when the road gets bumpy.

 

6:55 PM

I don't know if I feel peace yet or not, but that felt good. :) The writer/metaphorical person in me came out. Thank you God for being my coat holder.

 

-Madeline